what the crap

Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see...That suicide is painless. It brings on many changes. And I can take or leave it if I please.
So yesterday sucked ass in so many ways. First there was the fight with the boyfriend, which is never good. He and I never fight, so it was weird being upset at him, especially with what happened afterwards. See, I got this email from the teacher who works in the room that I worked in saying that it was really important that we call her or email her our phone numbers so that she could call us. So she called me a little later to let me know that one of the kids in the room is at Childrens Hospital in the ICU and needing a lot of help. That's terrible news. These kids and their families already have to deal with so much, and then something like this happens. So I spent most of last night nears, between the boyfriend and this news and the overall feeling that life sucks.

I dunno... I found this site for SI, and it was really.... interesting I guess is a good word. There's no one here I can really talk with here at school, and no one to give me a hug. I think that's all I need, really. Whatever, I should be able to deal. I've dealt before - not always in the best way, but I have. It's so much shit to deal with at once though - not fair, ya know? And of course my big bro had to point out last night that bad things happen in threes. Jerk. Lol jk, I love my big bro, and I know if he could be here with me he would be. He's the one person that I can talk about EVERYTHING with, and I know I'm supremely lucky to have that. Count your blessings, I guess.