Life goes on

Back at school for the first time in a month, and it's like I never left. Being home for so long almost made school seem like a dream, a separate world that isn't real. I cannot believe, even for a second, that I am halfway done with my freshman year of college. Only old people go to college, people who have their lives on track. My life is definetly not on track, not really, and I am certainly not old. But then again, this is a whole new year - 2006 - and I will be 20 this year. TWENTY. How can I be turning twenty when I still remember things from when I was in kindergarten and first grade? It's just crazy.
Being home also made me realize that life goes on when I'm not there. No one sits around waiting for me to come home so that they can function - everything is fine without me. My mom and I spent an hour at my grandparents before I came back to school, and hearing them talk about church and my family was weird because I wasn't a part of it.
Will my second semester be harder than my first? I did really well the first half of the year - 3.833 GPA - and everyone seems overly confident that I'm going to do even better this semester. I think I'll do okay, classes weren't too bad first semester, but things could change. Not to mention that I came to a decision over break, and it's going to take up a decent chunk of times if things go the way I see them going. It's for my own good, but still. And it's a secret that only 3 other people know, which will take it's toll on me eventually I'm sure.
Even now I can hear other girls in the hallway catching up on their breaks. Why am I not out there? Because I'm not a part of that "clique". Sure, there are people here that I talk to, but no one that I would really trust. I love my room mate, but there are certain things you don't just tell everyone, or anyone. My boyfriend thinks that I need to make friends here at school, but I disagree. Friends have this annoying tendency to use you and take advantage of things, and I just don't feel like dealing with that kind of stuff anymore. There are a few people here that I talk to often, and that's enough for me.
I need a nap - all that unpacking really tires a girl out!

~*~Sometimes a best friend is our guardian angel in disguise~*~