Friday, December 15, 2006

RASCAL FLATTS LYRICS
"What Hurts The Most"
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me
What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do
It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ it
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do
Not seeing that loving you
That’s what I was trying to do
So I was thinking...and we all know how dangerous that is, lol. But I've noticed that lately I've been happy - manic almost. It's kind of weird, considering that usually i'm the complete opposite. But I have yet to figure out the why behind the happy. There's very little in my life to be happy for lately - no boyfriend, I haven't seen my friends in ages, family and money are always problems... and despite it all, I almost feel like I can't be upset. Weird, huh? Too bad I couldn't have been like this more while I still had a boyfriend, might have made things a lot easier. At the same time, I think that going through that period in my life made me who I am today, a stronger person. Trial by fire, almost. Maybe now that I'm actually happy I'll be able to find someone. Thinking about the future sucks, by the way. Not that it's any better than thinking about the past because there's nothing you can do about it.. but the future stresses you out, lol. Anyway, too tired to even pretend to be able to think, so this will have to continue another time. I just really wanted those lyrics up. It's a great song (hell, I'm addicted to Rascal Flatts lately), and it really makes a lot of people think. Their other one "I'm Moving On" is up here too, and I love that one as well. Time to move on with my life.
"LIFE IS A HIGHWAY, I'M GONNA RIDE IT ALL NIGHT LONG"

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Just Thinkin

"The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we've lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we've found each other. And maybe each time, we've been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this good-bye is both a good-bye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come.
When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we've been forced to say good-bye.
I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly good-bye, I know we wil see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we've had before."~The Notebook


I love the idea behind "The Notebook", the idea that there is a love so real it transcends everything. I guess each of us can only hope to find that love someday. There is a old legend, myth, call it what you will, that once upon a time every person was born with two heads, four arms and four legs, and one soul. One day a god was angered, and split all people so that they each had one head, two arms and two legs, but only half a soul. The story goes that from that day on, each person spends their life trying to find the other half of their soul to complete them. I love that story, and I think there is some validity to it - not that we were all born with double appendages, but that there is in this world one person who the fates have deemed to be our soul mate. How many of us every find that person is a mystery, I suppose...

*Life is eternal. It has no beginning and no end. The loving friends we meet on our journey, return to us time after time. We never die, because we were never really born*

What if those who we surround ourselves with in this life are actually dear friends from another time? If those people who you meet and say "I feel like I've known you forever" have actually been your constant friend and companion throughout time? I know a lot of people are going to think I've lost it, but it would be comforting to think that if that's true, then those friends who we have lost along the way will find their way back into the thread of our life at another point along the way.
If reincarnation is true, which I'm not saying it is (I'm also not saying that it's not), then how we act in this life really does matter, to an extent. If you go through this life acting like an ass, maybe it has a bearing on what your future life will be like. I dunno, this is all just speculation.

My big issue is religion. Not that I have anything against those people who are religious, I would never discriminate against a group of people under any circumstances. But for me, religion just doesn't cut it. Again, this is all my personal feeling and is in no way meant to offend anyone who reads this, but what's the point, really? I used to be very religious - totally believed in it. I don't know what changed it for me, but I do know that at some point I felt that it was much more worthwhile to believe in myself than some unseen force. Give me something solid. I can believe in science - science can prove to me how animals evolved, how we adapted, where our origins are. Religion does none of those things. I think it really limits peoples views of the world. What modern religion would teach its followers to doubt the validity of something that can be proven, like evolution, while at the same time asking them to believe in a "god" that can't be seen and whose major contributions to the world includes so called "holy wars" and persecutions?

Take my life as an example. I've gone through some very tough things, and whether they were dictated by fate or through my own free will, they happened. And I got through them. But I don't thank some unseen power for getting me through them, I thank myself, and my friends. People who pray do so because they think it changes things. I think that what it really does is bring the person's problems to light for themselves, so that they can consciously or unconsciously come to a conclusion about whatever it is. People just don't have faith in themselves, so they have to believe that some higher power gave them the strength to leave a bad relationship, or get professional help for a problem they were having, etc etc. If people believed in themselves they would see that the strength to deal with the things that life throws at them comes from within themselves.
Besides, if there was a 'god', does anyone really think that s/he would care about every single person who believes in her/him? There are what, 6 billion people on the planet? If a god does exist, why would they spend their time dealing with the day to day problems of a bunch of ridiculous people. And if there is a god, or multiple gods (maybe the ancient greeks and indians had it right), why don't they fix the mess we've made of this world? Sorry, but nope, religion ain't my thang.

The only problem I have with my theory is that I have always wanted to believe, for some reason, in things supernatural - angels, demons, ghosts, aliens, fairies, witches, vampires, werewolves, etc etc. And I suppose that in order to believe in at least some of those things, I'd have to believe in a god or two. I don't know, lol, I've confused myself. Anybody want to help me talk it out is welcome to it.

I get no comfort from religion. The few times I have succumbed to prayer have done me no good. Maybe it's because I am a "non believer" - maybe if I was a good little disciple someone or something would have helped me in my times of need. But nothing has, and I have managed to overcome all sorts of problems through the strength and wisdom I found in myself, in other people, and in nature. I'm not saying that those who believe in their religion are weak; maybe it brings them comfort in some way. But unless I find some really compelling religion that gives me definitive answers to all my questions, I do believe I'm going to end up a non-believer until the day I die. I suppose I'll find out my answer then, anyway.

"I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means."
Scopes trial, Dayton, Tennessee, July 13, 1925 ~Clarence Darrow

Friday, December 01, 2006

It's Not Over

It's Not Over
Daughtry

I was blown away

What could I say
It all seemed to make sense.
You're takin away everything
And I can't do without.
I try to see the good in life
But good things in life are hard to find.
We're blowin away, blowin away
Can we make this something good?
Well I'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.
I've taken all I can take
And I cannot wait
We're wastin too much time
Being strong, holdin on
Can't let it bring us down
My life with you means everything
So I won't give up that easily
Blowin away, blowin away
Can make this something good?
Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well I'll try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Try to do it right this time around
It's not over
Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over.
You can't let this get away
Let it out, let it out
Don't get caught up in yourself
Let it out.
Let's start over
Try to do to it right this time around
It's not over
Because a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over, it's not over.
This love is killin me
But you're the only one
It's not over, it's not over....


Love this song so much, but in light of recent events I say good riddance. I would have considered it true a month ago... maybe it still is, but I'm not going back. You can never go back in life. You can only go forward.